Observed on session with educator and fellow student for babies first steps clinic with 8 month baby. Sat on floor and observed mainly whilst educator and mother interacted. Child was ill so was in poor mood. Later  after observing the session i wrote up notes for session. 

It felt like progress being able to start to use Alberta motor grading scale and identify key aspect of the Childs movement pattern. I also felt confident writing the notes and feel like i was able to demonstrate some of my talent for the first time since starting the placement - this felt good and is important to me and this placement feels very new and more challenging than previous ones, i think i have been self doubting my ability without reminding my self that it is only 3 days in and there is a lot of progress to be made.  Perhaps i am not trying to demonstrate my talent to my educator, rather to my self, to remind my self of the capabilities that i have. 

During the interaction i felt awkward as an observer and feel like i should have made more effort to communicate with the parent or show the purpose of me being there. I think this feeling is heightened by being accompanied by another student, making us appear less like a highly skilled apprentice and more like a child on work experience, perhaps this echoes my own insecurities which will fade as i become more knowledgeable. 

It did feel good however, that the educator explained that we would be assessing and taking notes, which gave more context to our presence to the parent. 

The way this interaction could have been better is firstly by interacting more with the parent, i could have ask her name or asked questions about her general well being, i also could have introduced my role better to demonstrate my confidence and open up the line of communication for my self into the session. I also could have suggested things to look at, vocalised my observations or tried to interact more with child. 

I think one of the main themes emerging from this reflection is my own insecurity or lack of confidence in this new environment, looking internally i think this something that i was already aware of as something i would find challenging. Its possible that im trying to prove to my self that i do have the skills and confidence to take a more involved role in future session. Im also recognising that, the element of performance that im least confince with is communication not practical skills or specialist knowledge, to an outsider this may seem strange as im aware that i promote a confident personality and in this new placement specialist knowledge is the area with least experience. 

Communication also came up in a objectives meeting today in which i expressed that i find communication particularly challenging whilst wearing a face shield, this potentially links to previously expressed feelings of feeling awkward as an observer as the shield is what limits me showing my personality and empathy or friendliness to the mother and child.  

I think this shows that i am compassionate and specifically value trying to make a good impression and want to engage with the parents however am limited by some anxieties around my communication and ability to build a good first impression 

In a general sense i have identified that i may feel insecure about issues that are non specific to the situation and that i as long as i continue to be empathetic and compassionate i will do well as a physiotherapist 

In future i am going to think about ways i can engage mother more, and try to put more enthusiasm into interacting with child. I will also continue to reflect to help build self confidence on communication. 

10/11/21